Jeremy and I have attended trainings, classes, support groups, and webinars about adoption. We’ve talked to lots and lots of adoptive parents who are already home with their children. We’ve visited and bookmarked lots and lots of websites. We’ve read lots and lots of books. Here’s a picture of the adoption and parenting library we’ve started at our house.
Over the past year or so, I’ve read almost all of the books in this library. We also continually adding to it. In fact, we just received a new shipment of books from amazon.com this afternoon!
While we wait for our children to come home over the next few months, we’re going to share a bit about what we’ve learned in conducting our “literature review” of adoptive parenting.
Of course, in some ways, parenting an adopted child is the same as parenting any child. The biggest thing we’ve learned in all of this research, however, is that parenting a child who is adopted is also different than parenting a biological child. Over the next few months, we will share what makes adoptive parenting different, because it is different.
Here’s a sneak peek at some of the many topics we will touch on in future blog entries:
* Our On-Going Adoption Process. We’re waiting for our referral right now. Once our referral arrives, there’s still a lot more to do! Then we will be waiting for a court date in Ethiopia, waiting for birth certificates, waiting for travel dates, waiting to travel, and of course, waiting to bring our children home! We’ll keep you posted here on any new major developments.
* Ethiopian Culture & Language. Jeremy and I have been learning a lot about Ethiopia, its culture and its languages in the past few months. We’ll share some of what we’ve learned with you - the food, the music, some of the traditions, and some key words in the Amharic language! Let me know if you have any requests.
* Attachment. Few concepts are addressed more in adoptive parenting literature and workshops than attachment. This is about more than just bonding between a parent and a child. Despite the controversy over attachment parenting in biological parenting circles, attachment parenting is not considered controversial in adoptive parenting circles; it’s considered crucial. Find out why attachment is so important to our future children, and what you can do to help!
* Transracial and Transcultural Parenting. When our children come home, we will become a multiracial and multicultural family. Our children will be of African descent and we will be their White parents. This will have direct implications on how we raise our children. More details to come!
* Coping with Loss & Grief. Despite the excitement we have about becoming parents, in adoption, grief and loss come with the territory. At the minimum, our children will come to us having experienced the loss of their birth family, their birth culture, and their birth language. Nothing we can do will ever be able to make up for these losses. Love is not enough. Culture and language classes will never make up for the loss of being able to grow up in their birth country. Our job as parents is not to erase the losses (because it’s not possible), but to help our children to cope and work through their grief so that they discover their strength and resilience. More to come on this topic another day!
* Older Child Adoption. Because we are waiting for siblings 0-5 years old, our children will likely be “older”. At our adoption agency, additional training is required to adopt an older child (over the age of 12 months, according to our agency). Find out what all the fuss is about!
* Post-Adoption Depression Syndrome. I assure you that I did not make this up. This is a true syndrome that many, many adoptive parents face when they come home. I want you all to know about it, so that if we experience it when we come home, you can help us overcome it!
Well, that’s the sneak preview. We’ll try to update this blog about once a week or so. If you are curious about anything else that isn’t mentioned here, let us know. We’re taking requests!
